Many people intimately associate the Vagine Regime with their annual off-the-hook game against the unforgettable Caulksuckers each year, at Rollercon. But they are so much more than that! Not only are they an inclusive community represented across the world at events such as Pride Parades in many locations, and their own spin-off tournaments like Australia’s now regular Battle on the Bent Track. They are also now official queer participants of the Roller Derby World Cup.
Inevitably the Vagine Regime exhibition bout was a wall to wall queer extravaganza, with highlights of human-sized vaginas hovering trackside and behind announcers. Those of you watching from home would have been treated to the melodic delights of Plastik Patrik’s dulcet tones, and Tara Armov also.
In fact, if you’d been listening carefully, you would have been sure to note such quippy queer announcing highlights as: “Box was very popular with the Vagine Regime this game”, “Pushing through the wall of Pangina”, “It’s now cuddle time, apparently on the track”, “…she came from the box. But didn’t we all.”
The first full-length bout of the looming weekend, this game was always going to be a smash hit for the queers and their allies in the community. Getting such a star-studded cast together of international queers was always going to be a rare event, so the fortune of getting to watch these incredible skaters pull together as teams after their round of country-based games already having started was quite the impressive showdown.
Once the game got started, Terminal City’s Kim Janna took the first jam, and called it with 3 points, while soon-to-be retired fellow Canadian Smack Daddy and Victorian stalwart blocker Biceptual held the front line of defense for her.
The next jam, Master Blaster, from Berlin and Team Germany, took a solid 5 points for Team Queerope, but then took a back block penalty on a solid thwack into the back of the pack, and slowed the points pace with a box trip.
Continuing into a low-scoring game, the two teams tied at only 12 points apiece by the first 7 mins into the game, Rangeon went on a big scoring jam, , taking 19 points, with key offensive assists from Team USA and Rose City’s Mercy.
A star pass went to Queerope’s Master Blaster, just as Janna got a track cut, at the 13th minute. But then they traded penalties, and Master Blaster spent some time in the box, but that points addition still pushed Queerope back up enough to make the game heart-poundingly close again.
“…she came from the box. But didn’t we all.”
The game was a fun display of the varied talents of each of the participating players, those watching got to see long-time London Rollergirls and Team England blocker Raw Heidi jamming, Sandrine Rangeon blocking, Biceptual jamming, and the world (and some very vocal vaginas) cheering them on.
After founding member of Vagine Regime Aotearoa and co-founder of Deaf and HoH Roller Derby Skaters Worldwide, Meat Train blocked the front of the whole of Jam #10, with usual-Philly Rollergirls-jammer Brazilian Nut, it quickly became clear that Meat Train is an intuitive player with an innate sense of where she needs to be. Those watching saw her display her abilities as a strong blocker and effective bracer, proving she has what it takes to roll with the big players in the game.
Inching back up against the ‘rest of the world’, Queerope then almost immediately pulled into the lead, with a 2 point differential, at 65-63. And Queerope’s Mad Malooney went neck and neck with not-usual-jammer Meat Train jamming who took 2 points even without lead, but that didn’t stop Queerope from pulling slightly further into the lead.
A single point between the teams by the final first period seconds, with not enough to go for another jam, left the half-time score with Queerope only barely in the lead by a single point, at just 89-88 against Pangina.
As the announcers accurately mentioned, as Pangina’s points seriously started to mount after the half, they must have had one hell of a pep talk in the break, with the score hovering at 141-93 to Pangina only 6 mins back into the game.
In fact, by the final quarter Team Pangina seemed to have the game thoroughly in hand, and they pulled further and further ahead, with first 60 points between them, and then 90 ahead with just over 12 mins remaining.
With an interlude for team time-out cuddles at the 11min mark, Queerope certainly wasn’t about to be phased by that climb, bringing the team back together, and rallying the crowd behind them.
“Pushing through the wall of Pangina”
Not long after, a star pass foul-up sent Rangeon to the penalty box, and Brazilian Nut sat in there with her, keeping both skaters able to reclaim the star from the track and thus keeping anyone from scoring for Pangina.
Then in what proved to be the penultimate jam, Kim Janna fouled out as jammer with only a minute remaining in the game, but was quickly surrounded by vaginas as consolation.
Meat Train jammed the final jam, before getting caught in the back of the pack, and then star passing to Mercy who took extra points and Pangina into the final game win, 260-182.
Congratulations are majorly due to the whirlwind of queer co-ordination from the personality behind most of the VR facebook posts and updates you’ve seen, Pangina’s Lex Go, and the incredible queer dream team she has behind her.
But of course the VR fun does not end when the bout is over. The Vagine Regime invited everyone to The Pants Off Dace Off World Cup Edition at local bar Sue Ellen’s for a night of celebration. Rumor has it that if you mention VR or Roller Derby World Cup, you get in free.
Team Pangina (orange)
Smack Daddy (Canada) – captain // Nina Brava (Argentina) // Mad Flaca (Argentina) // Tui Lyon (Australia) // Bicepsual (Australia) // Brazilian Nut (Brazil) // Mary of Pain (Brazil) // Kim Janna (Canada) // Evada Peron (Canada) // Sandrine Rangeon (France/stolen for USA) // Meat Train (New Zealand) // Mercy (USA) // Baller Shot Caller (USA) // Frosty (USA) // Jessica Rammit (USA)
Bane-ana (USA) – bench // Lex Go (Canada) – bench
Team Queerope (grey)
Olivia Coupe (England) // Raw Heidi (England) // Only (Finland) // Polygamy Winehouse (Finland) // Dominå F.äkt (Finland) // Pooky (France) // French Revolution (France) // Heavy Rotation (Germany) // Master Blaster (Germany) // Titty-Twista (Germany) // Snowy (Ireland) // Martattack (Italy) // Sofie Norheim (Norway) // Mad Maloony // Kix deVille (Sweden) // Swede Hurt (Sweden) – captain
Anna Miettinen (Finland) – bench // Violent Bob (Ireland) – bench
LINK TO ORIGINAL ARTICLE