Has anyone ever told you that self-care is sexy?
Not sure you’re convinced yet? How about we think about it like this: As lesbians and gay / queer women, we encounter a bunch of difficult moments and obstacles throughout our lives that have their own variously traumatic effects. Whether it’s choosing how / when / whether to come out at work, or negotiating harassment on the street, chances are you’ve had some pretty stressful moments recently.
That takes a toll. And there’s only so much of that you can push on through before it becomes increasingly necessary to step up and look at yourself clearly, and care for the person in the reflection in the mirror: you.
Just think about the magical healing powers of that kind of care-taking. And also, think of the kinds of ways that can help you reach out in healthy ways, and create the strong, sexy and intimate connections that your lover wants most from you.
Yep, self-care is utterly sexy, and you can even do it in ways that compliment your relationship with your partner… We have some suggestions:
- Slide into a Bath
Ease into that warm water. Sprinkle in some scented oils of your choosing, and really relax into it. Now might be the time to pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read when you had a moment… it could even be the latest hot queer romance.
And when you’ve had a few minutes to yourself, now might be the time for someone to slide into that tub with you… I mean, someone’s got to help scrub your back, right?
- Mood Music (with candles, and maybe a side of romance)
Can you feel the love tonight? Maybe Adele’s more your speed? Or a little classic K.D.Lang?
Put on some of your favorite low-key tunes, and set a relaxed mood for yourself with whatever else puts you in a good mood. Tasty treats? Candles? Buy yourself your favorite flowers. Maybe include some of your favorite scents… they should all be there, to give you a handful of minutes to kick back, listen to the lyrics, and take the time and head space you need.
Of course, if the romantic mood you’re setting for yourself puts you in the mood for other kinds of romance, then perhaps now might be the time to include a partner in this mix.
- Eat Yourself Sexy
Put a sexy something into your mouth. Nourishment is a great kind of self-care, and will heal you from the inside so well. You can start with this wherever you like… with comfort food from every part of your past from childhood onwards through to nutrient-rich foods of every kind.
From chocolate to a good glass of red wine, nourishment can come in all kinds of ways, including the relaxing and aphrodisiac kind…
- Treat Yourself
Whether it’s new underwear or sheets, or just pulling out that extra special something you’d put away for an occasion. Make yourself the occasion.
Treat yourself to things that make you feel good from the inside, and you’ll quickly find yourself glowing with spoiling. It’s the kind of glow that a partner is sure to welcome…
- Connecting with people
Sometimes, when it comes to caring for yourself, solitude is not the answer. Whether it’s someone to debrief with, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to reach out and hug or share some happy moments with, other people can actually be perfect for self-care.
Make and maintain those connections with important people in your life, and everyone will benefit, including you. And your ladyfriend.
- Work It Out
Stress responds to all kinds of things, and one way to fight back is to get out of there. Literally.
Get up, get moving, get outside and get your blood pumping. Explore. Move. And embrace your physical self.
Take all those endorphins home with you, and who knows where it could lead…
- Sexy time
Hey, working out isn’t the only thing that produces endorphins. The last, and best, on this list is the sexiest of all… it’s sex itself.
That’s right, your partner might actually be the very best kind of sexy stress relief there is – try getting it on to unwind, and really make the house rock.
Feeling better already? We thought so.